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You "borrow indefinitely" from the till to pay your rent.Ĥ5. You chastise people for their drink orders.Ĥ4. When it gets really busy, you go for a smoke.Ĥ3. You carry around a fly swatter and kill flies while people eat.Ĥ2. You strain fruit flies out of the liquor then put the liquor back on the bar.Ĥ1. You break a glass in the ice well and decide it' s nothing to worry about.Ĥ0. A 60 year old lady asks for a nice cocktail and you server her a 1-800-Fuck-Me-Up.ģ9. The only drinks you know have sexual names.ģ8. You put a lime garnish on single malt scotch.ģ7. Getting drunk or high, while working, is normal.ģ6.
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You think the bar is yours and drink whenever you feel like it.ģ5. You drop limes on the floor and can't be bothered to wash them.ģ4. You call in sick because you have another hangover.ģ3. Everything you talk about has sexual connotations.ģ2. You spend more time talking to the servers than the guests at the bar.ģ1. Using a three day old slimy lemon wedges doesn't raise an alarm bell.ģ0. You wash your hands once per shift, at the end of the night.Ģ9. Sticking your finger in a drink to taste it doesn't concern you.Ģ8. The blender is your favourite bar tool.Ģ6. You haven't washed your work cloths for weeks and just leave them under the bar.Ģ5. You think Rose's lime, sour mix and lime juice combine to make a better drink.Ģ4. When asked about a cocktail on the menu, you read from the menu to give the answer.Ģ3. Your breasts are more important to making tips than your brain.Ģ2. Your goal is to have sex with all of the servers of the same gender.Ģ1. Your goal is to have sex with all of the servers of the opposite gender.Ģ0. Washing your cocktail shakers is done once, at the end of your shift.ġ9. When somebody orders a $100 snifter of cognac you expect a $20 tip.ġ8. Your theory on drink making is: more sugar equals better drinkġ6. You huff and sigh when somebody orders a drink you don't like.ġ5. You think sour mix is a direct substitute for real lemon or lime juice.ġ4. When someone tips poorly you assume you did nothing wrong and that the guest is an asshole.ġ2.
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The only reason you bartend is for free booze and cheap girls.ġ1. You think expiry dates on juices and milk are guidelines.ġ0. You think short pouring is good because it makes the bar more money.ĩ. You think the floor drain is a sink so you dump your shaker on the floor.ħ. You jam bottles into the ice bin and scoop ice with the glass.Ħ. Running the dishwasher without soap doesn't concern you.ĥ.
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Pissing off the servers is your nightly entertainment.Ĥ. To make a great drink requires the use of 151 proof rum.ģ. The term "quality" never crossed your mind, people only drink to get drunk, right?Ģ.